Many elderly inhabitants of snowbound Cockhampton Cove awake one snowy December morning, to find themselves fellow members of the Internet Honey Bee Dating Agency. Suddenly this older generation find their sexual desires stirred into activity through the antics of one old sea-dog, Jack Stubbington aged 74, and the Chairlady of the Parish Council, Lady Rosemary Pilkington-Smythe, aged 74 who, unbeknown to each other, have joined the Dating Agency, using the special identifying names of Horny Harry and Busty Babs to to conceal their real identities. Word spreads when other residents become members and the Agency begins to ruffle the local wrinkles of Loveable Lucy, Vital Virgin, Seductive Sydney and many others
With sex rearing its passionate head among the sweating seventies and the excitable eighties, startling revelations abound when someone reveals that even the vicar, Claud Balls, is not averse to a romp through the gravestones with the grannies. But problems loom when it is discovered that some of the men have been brought to a dramatic halt by that dreaded leveler, impotency.
While the small geriatric populace of the fishing village prepare for their Christmas festivities and the women arrange the Bishops party, the men pray for a penile miracle and it comes unexpectedly one night,during a ferocious winter storm, when a Russian ship goes aground on rocks, shedding its cargo of Containers. The light on Jacks navigation marker had been badly damaged during the storm causing confused seafarers to mistake the top Xmas Tree light outside the church, as the real marker.
Luckily only one ship is affected and the Cove's own lifeboat tackles the rescue. One container drifts many miles, to beach on the sands of Cockhampton Cove, outside the Smugglers Rest pub. Among its variety of flotsam which seem to indicate an Act of God, zimmer-frames, electric scooters, and blow-up dolls for a sex shop are found and someone also discovers a small case of ‘Dr Wong’s Erection Elixr’, which professes to make any man stand up for himself for hours on end.
An accident to the case of Elixr in the pub's cellar, sees it drain into the silver bowls of cocktail for the Bishops Xmas party, while the fruity senior ladies are organising a game of 'Partners' using all their identity names from the Hony Bee Dating Agency, instead of car keys. The elderly celebrants allow too much wine to flow and lose their inhibitions. For the first time, real identities are revealed to the Honey Bee members, while the once impotent men find themselves with a massive growing problem which they are unable to get rid of, and Horny Harry finds himself in love with a sexy female called Vital Virgin unaware that it is his own wife Mary and they have come together again after 40 years of estrangement, having enjoyed their Cockhampton Advent like no other celebration.
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